Transestia

any great need for psychotherapy of any kind I gave it only passing thought. Then it was brought more forceably to my attention when this psychologist gave a talk at a group I have been attending. With him he brought several people who had been at previous nude sessions and they told of their experiences. I became fascinated and the more I thought about it the more I felt that I had to do this as a last step in proving to myself that Virginia was real. This came about because I had long felt that I had cleared away all guilt about my TV in the course of giving the talks I had given to a lot of men's clubs. To stand before 50 or 100 men while dressed as a woman and at the proper time lower your voice and admit that you too were a male does not permit the maintenance of guilt very long. However, I became aware of the fact that people react much more to what they see than to what they know. Back in TVia No. 47 I related how the antagonistic psychiatrist on the KUP show automatically picked up my earring for me and in No. 51 I told about the police Lieutenant in Washington D.C. who claimed he could read me immediately, a few minutes later asking what my "husband" had thought about my TVism when he learned that I'd been married. Both of these men knew the truth but both reacted to what they saw in front of them, namely a woman.

These experiences and others like them proved to me that I may have gotten rid of what I came to call "gender-guilt" based upon my verbal admission of being a male when appearing as a woman. But what of my "sex-guilt" by which I mean how would I feel when my actual sexual anatomy was visible and I still stated and expressed my femininity? That was the $64 question. So I decided that attendance at one of these nude marathons would prove the reality of Virginia once and for all.

So I made my reservation and awaited the fateful day. The sessions were to go on from about 5PM on a Saturday afternoon to about 4PM on Sunday afternoon. They took place in a private home with a swimming pool out on the desert near Palm Springs and there were 14 other people besides the Leader - seven other women besides myself and six men. We brought our sleeping bags for the overnight stay and food was provided in the fee. Three of the women and two of the men knew me from previous acquaintance, the others did not. That was the setup for the following experience, a real "happening” to use the vernacular of the day.

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